Hearts Broken By Betrayal

Last night’s Bible study was very enlightening for me. Ever since I accepted Christ into my life, a lot of issues that I thought I had dealt with in the past have resurfaced. Obviously it’s the work of Satan. That knowledge helps, but dealing with the pain still hurts. There are very few people on this earth that I trust with all my heart. I could count them all on one hand and still have plenty of fingers left over. I was betrayed by someone who I thought was my friend. The hurt was so intense (mind you this was not the first time I had been betrayed by people) that I made a conscious decision to shut myself off from the world….and I did. After I thought I was “over it”, I tried putting myself out there, but emotionally, I was still shut off. I now realize that I hurt people that were trying to come into my life, one person, especially, who tried over and over to get close to me. People would try to develop relationships with me and I thought that I was trying to, too. I now know I wasn’t, not really. You can’t develop a relationship with someone when your heart is behind lock-and-key.

When I spoke about this last night at Bible study (and I spoke a lot!), it really hit it home for me. I had done the work in the study guide earlier yesterday, but speaking about it made me realize how much damage I had done to myself. Actually, it was pointed out to me that it was Satan’s work, not mine. So I realize how much damage I let Satan do to me. What a thing to realize!! So now I need to let the Lord work on “binding up” my broken heart and trust enough in Him, to fully trust people again.

The video with Beth Moore last night was very powerful. She spoke about the empty spaces that are inside us. We spend so much time looking for satisfaction from food, possessions, money, clothes etc…. We attend church, join the choir, teach Sunday School, everything a “good” Christian does, but something inside us is still not satisfied (but we’d never admit it to anyone!). She used a visual demonstration that was nothing short of brilliant. She had 2 glasses that were shaped in a way where there was a narrow area followed by a wide “bubble” area, narrow, wide etc…. First was the food. She packed in some cheetos, saying” don’t you wish that we could just eat whatever we want (this was followed by “may there never be a chicken breast in heaven” ROFL)?” Then she put in some toy cars representing the material positions we crave, followed by clothes and money. After she had packed this glass full, you could see that there were all these empty spaces in between everything she put in there. Then she sites John 4:10:

10Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you Living Water.

”Then she filled up the other glass with “Living Water”. You could see, there were no empty spaces in the glass with the Living Water. She said “God creates empty places inside us that only he can fill. He is the only one not intimidated by the depth and length of my need.” It was very powerful!

“Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.” Psalm 4:1